Canada: America's Hat

First thing is first. I met these really great Canadian friends last week, Denise and Rebecca (left and right, respectively). Their story is pretty awesome. Denise and Rebecca were roommates in college and felt that God was calling them to travel through Asia this summer working with local churches and organizations.

They started in the Philippines, are working their way through Thailand, and will be leaving a couple  of days before our team to spend five weeks in Cambodia before heading back home to Canada (America's hat).

It has been really refreshing for me to meet two new friends and actually have the ability to communicate with them without any language barriers. Well, that may not be entirely accurate, but at least we all speak English, eh?

I've really been impressed with Denise and Rebecca's faith in following God's call to Asia; especially given that they are not partnered with an organization and simply take each day as it comes, going wherever God leads them.

Please join me in prayer for Denise and Rebecca as they spend time this week traveling through Thailand, and for their time in Cambodia as the summer comes to a close.

Now, unto a decidedly more selfish topic: me. I am frustrated in every way imaginable right now, hence I am writing this blog entry at 2:06 am. I am sitting on the roof, lightning is illuminating my view of the city as a seemingly nightly electrical storm rages. My sleep cycle has been interrupted by multiple headaches over the last few days, and a World Cup party two nights ago; I didn't make it into my bed until 5:15 am. yesterday morning only to be awoken by 10 for team time.

I am so tired of feeling sick. Over the past week and a half I have suffered from multiple headaches, dizzy spells, lightheadedness, exhaustion, and a migrane on Saturday. I want to feel better, but every time I start to feel better I get out and spend the day on campus, and end up feeling worse the next day. However, all the time spent "recuperating" in the room makes me feel lethargic and weak.

I have no idea what is wrong with me, but I have had serious problems having any motivation to get out of the bed over the last week. I am beginning to suspect that I may be suffering from an iron deficiency, something that Tim mentioned many 11 month interns encounter. I realized that I have not eaten many of the foods from which I receive my iron intake in about 6 weeks, and if I already had a low iron level, well then missing my red meats, eggs, and enriched pasta may have just thrown me over the edge.

Please pray for my health as I continue to spend time on campus and at church, that I would still have energy to deal with every day, and an extra measure of patience to offset my exhaustion.

I am also really discouraged right now with one of our Thai friends. Nike has been living in our room for the last, what, two weeks I suppose at this point. Admittedly, when I think of the circumstances, they seem a bit ridiculous. Basically this kid who doesn't even really know us or speak our language decided after a few days that he would just move in... and I guess we decided that was alright.

Honestly, I haven't really minded having Nike around, and he has begun to feel like another member of the team. He joins us in all of our activities besides team time, and helps David and I get around sometimes when we're having language issues.

I don't know what I expected. That isn't really true. I think I expected Nike to see that our group is different, and that he would become a Christian, and that this trip would have a tangible measure of success in my mind.

I am just discouraged because it has become so evident to me that Nike has completely latched onto our group, and doesn't spend any time with his friends (whom he has indicated he does not have) or family. We have become something of  a crutch to him-- and we're leaving.

It's just really hard for me to feel good about the situation as it stands now. I want to love all of these kids as much as supernaturally possible (it takes more than my human capacity) but at the same time I have struggled with making friend groups into my god, and it saddens me to think that I am facilitating that for Nike.

I guess tonight it all just really hit me hard. I made it back to the room before anyone else, and was enjoying some precious alone time when Nike walked in the door. He had gotten separated from David and John at campus, and had finally decided to come on home without them. We did our little song and dance of greeting each other, asking how each other were, and trying to explain our present circumstances. After interpreting Nike's pantomime of losing John and David on campus, I edited some photos, and Nike took a shower.

A few minutes later we found ourselves sitting on the couch, introducing each other to music; we began to talk as we tend to do through a combination of broken Thai, English, and Google Translate. Nike indicated to me that he does not have other friends, and that once we returned to the States, he would not return to the "coffeehouse" ever again. "Coffeehouse" is his word for the church. Our conversation continued for about another hour (in which we communicated about 4 minutes worth of conversation) and he indicated that no one really liked him, and that others talked bad about him.

There is more, but Nike always swears me to secrecy after our conversations, and apologizes profusely for ever sharing any personal details of his life with me. I count it an honor that Nike has already opened up to me with many personal details as Dave has repeatedly pointed out to our team that Thais are extremely private in those matters, and it has taken upwards of 7 years for some Thais to open up in the church.

So, this is where I am now. I realize that God can still do an awesome work here, but at the same time I am questioning our effectiveness with Nike, and whether or not letting him spend 24 hours a day with us was really the right thing to do. I am trying to put myself in his shoes, and think of how this whole thing would feel to me. I guess my hope right now is that we can get Nike connected with some Thais in the church, and that he would quickly form a friendship strong enough to keep him coming back to the church.

Ultimately, I realize that none of this is in my control, and that my effectiveness as a witness here is really never really in question as I am always 100% ineffective, and any fruit that comes of my time here is strictly the Lord's doing.

Please be praying for Nike over the next two weeks as we prepare to leave, that God would really call him, and open his heart. Also, please pray for David and me as we continue to have very little alone time  throughout this living arrangement.