Tuesday was our day off, and it started as most days off have: sleeping in. There is something deeply satisfying about going to bed without setting an alarm. I awoke to Nike watching and singing along to music videos on the TV; this has become quite the morning routine. Nike has, for all intents and purposes, moved into our little piece of the Big House in the Sky, sleeping on a mattress on the floor (the box springs are used as a makeshift armoir by David and myself), watching entirely too many Thai music videos, and wishing David and I "goosednight" and "goosedmorning" everyday.
After taking a quick shower and rummaging through the clothes heap on the aforementioned set of boxsprings, I made my way over to Coffee Today with Nike in tow. Upon arrival we discovered that David, Emily, Lyndsey, John, and Julie were all occupying tables at our favorite watering-hole. I ordered my usual iced green tea and waffle from Keek, the proprietor of Coffee Today. "Same-same tomorrow," she asked. "Same-same everyday," I replied. I tend to stick with what I know and love.
It wasn't long before all of us farangs were discussing American politics, George Orwell, Atlas Shrugged, German cinema, and the plight of the written word. Lyndsey will always prefer a paperback, and will retain more from reading it than from a Kindle. David simply doesn't trust the electronic medium, and fears that content can too easily be rewritten and used for propaganda. I think we all came to the conclusion that the world is scary, and we're all going to die one day.
Our more intellectual appetites satiated, we moved on to discussing what entertainment we would use to distract ourselves from our decidedly foreign environment. A movie at the nearest cineplex was suggested, but quickly rejected. We decided that perhaps Nike, a Thai national, would have some great knowledge of hidden fun in Bangkok. Of course, Nike doesn't speak very much English, so how could we communicate our desperate need of an adventure? Google Translate of course!
In no time we had two MacBook Pros setup, one translating from English to Thai, and the other from Thai to English. We would type away our messages of "take us somewhere fun!" to which Nike would reply "I will take away the fun." Hmmm. Perhaps something was getting lost in translation. "What can we do fun today," Julie asked. "Fun anywhere," Nike would reply.
An hour passed as we attempted to harness the power of technology to spark some human connection with Nike. Typing away at the cold, metallic keys, desperate for some kind of deeper human connection. Finally, after what felt like ages, Nike was able to break through the barriers of language and culture to communicate with us his great plan for our harrowing Tuesday adventure: MOVIE!
Yes, folks, after an hour and a half we finally landed on the idea we had quickly rejected at the very beginning of our preposterous discourse. Within 15 minutes we had loaded into taxis and were on our way to Central Bangna.
Upon arrival at the mall we discovered that most movies were only showing in Thai that evening, so we resolved to find a nice American restaurant, eat, and perhaps go bowling afterwards.
Moments later we found ourselves at "Sizzler" a fine establishment that has found itself relegated to this side of the world after failure in the American market. Sizzler's is neither good dining nor poor eats, and has somehow found itself in the purgatory of dining experiences. This is rare by my estimation. Generally, I either love food, or hate it. I would venture to say that by American standards Sizzler is actually pretty crap, but somehow, being in this foreign country for nearly two months has lowered by standards of dining, entertainment, and music. Anything American, simply by virtue of being American, seems right, good, and pure.
Beef at these Thai/American restaurants is like the undead of burgers; it may look like your average burger, may even smell like your average burger, but make no mistake, it is a shell of its former self. A reminder of what once was good, whole, tasty, but has been reduced to an evil imitation.
I had fish and chips. They were quite enjoyable.
From the Sizz we were beckoned over to the Major Bowl by its throbbing bass and disorienting black lights. The group quickly acquired a lane and made their way over to the shoe rental area. From there we were moved into a VIP "Platinum" room that was isolated from the rest of the bowling alley. This is when the evening really began to go to pot. Nothing worked. The pin picker upper, the ball returner, the karaoke music maker, the disco dance light dispensers, it was all crap. Finally one of the fifteen employees that circulated through our room was able to get us going with the pins and balls, and as he left he closed the door, sealing us into the PLATINUM.
Closing the door completely eliminated all sound from traveling into our private room, an incredible feat by my estimation. Unfortunately, there was no music in our room. Did that stop us? No, of course not, we are Americans, darnit, and we're going to take over this room in the name of democracy and dance craziness.
So, we ripped the audio input chord out of the useless karaoke machine, plugged in an iPod, and cranked it to the next level. It wasn't long before we had the lights turned down low, black lights on, music blaring, 6 white kids, and an Asian dancing on top of the couches, tables, and ball returns of Major Bowl's Platinum VIP room.
I don't know. There is something about being on the sixth floor of a mall in downtown Bangkok, floor to ceiling windows with a great view of the city, at night, surrounded by friends, dancing in a VIP room in a bowling alley on top of furniture, while your Asian friend busts out the Michael Jackson mojo and some mad breakdancing that just makes you feel like you're alive, and possibly in an indie film.
Suffice it to say that an hour later we had bowled 9 frames dancing the entire time.
Ice cream from McDonald's followed as well as a sweaty cab ride back to The Big House in The Sky, and an evening viewing of Hot Rod compliments of John and Julie.
And that my friends, will always be remembered as "The Platinum Experience".
I think the lessons we learned that day were that technology is useless, the government is scary, communication is important, Asian bowling alleys want to keep the white man down, America always wins, dance parties are universal, Nike can dance, and blogs are a good place to get a really weird mood out of your system.